before you have this odd experience. I mean, you know that you've read this passage before, but in this exact moment, you see it with eyes wide open, like you've never seen it before.

This happened to me on November 6th. How do I know it was November 6th? Because it was so profound that I recorded a voice message, sent it to a close friend, and "astonished" is the best word to describe how it felt. What happened that day was so impactful that I've gone back and listened to the message I sent her, and probably will again, because I never want to forget what I experienced and how it has changed me.

Mark 2:21 is the passage that Holy Spirit used to change me in an instant. "No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, otherwise the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear results."

The next verse mentions that no one ever puts new wine into old skins or they too will burst. Growing up in the teetotalling Nazarene denomination, this was always an opportunity for whomever was preaching to quickly touch upon the perils of drinking alcohol and that the "new wine" in reference didn't have the same level of alcohol that ours does today. Given this diversion from the true point, you might understand why Mark 2:21 had never quite resonated with me in the past.

So what exactly made this verse leap out of the pages and leave me slack jawed and almost unable to describe to my friend what was going on in my heart and head? A little background is needed first...

I've been in a period of change and growth spiritually for the last few months, and believe it or not, it's been because of this silly digital journey I've been on. It's the first thing in my life that I couldn't just make happen and have the success I was hoping for simply by my sheer determination, talent, and hard work.

I'm not saying that I've ever been perfect at anything, but I've at least been able to see results, or tweak from mistakes, and have measurable success: applause, verbal approval, weight loss, good grades. Just fill in the blank with whatever you want.

But when you see other people who started later than you, literally earning TENS OF THOUSANDS of dollars, doing the exact thing you are and you're getting nothing, it can mess with your mind. A lot!

Everything I knew about following instructions, working hard, putting in more effort than you see others doing, even being told repeatedly that you just have to BELIEVE you can do it, and yet, you're getting nada when others are getting rich, while they're giving God all the credit...yeah, that'll making you start asking, "What hoops am I not jumping through Lord? Why do You favor them and not me? Is there something I've done to upset You??

So I started down this very long and arduous path of trying to see myself from God's perspective. A dear friend began speaking Truth that she was learning; and extended cousin sent me a book that I admit, I was leary of what it would teach, but God has used it to redefine pretty much everything I thought I knew; and I opened up a devotional that I felt Holy Spirit was prompting me to read again. Those, and a lot of soul-searching, declaration stating, and scripture claiming days had gone by...along with the necessary surrender of my expectations, coming to a deeper understanding of how God sees me, and grappling with the realization that He wasn't using my new business to shower me with money, but rather to begin to plumb the depths of what He meant when He had declared that I am a New Creation in Christ and that the old had truly passed away.

Declaring this in my life day after day had unbeknownst to me prepared me for what I was about to receive on November 6th. I can honestly say that for the first time ever, Mark 2:21 made sense.

See, I've spent my whole life, listening to pastors and reading books that have told me to 'fix this', 'change that', 'let go of ___', and all I was ever doing was taking a little 'patch of God/Jesus' and putting it onto the old Angela. Inevitably, it didn't stick.

Not only did it not stick, but it would rip away (ususally in the heat of an argument or stressful situation!) and would leave a gaping wound, often worse than it originally was. As was my norm, thinking that I'd failed, hadn't worked hard enough, or just didn't have enough faith.

But after weeks of declaring out loud that I am a completely New Creation in Christ and that the old has passed away...died and been buried...I literally felt a stabbing in my soul, accompanied by Holy Spirit moans that when they come forth, always testify to the depths of what He is doing in my soul.

To cut to the chase: I understood.

I am not a patchwork quilt of lessons learned and applied, although I'm very sad to say, that has mostly been how I have experienced my relationship with my Savior. Faulty teaching or flawed understanding? I think it's probably a mixture of both.

But learning to see myself through HIS eyes, HIS heart, and grappling with the acceptance that He didn't just arrive, live, die, and awaken on the Third Day, only so I could put some ill-fitting patches on my yucky self! Heck no! He abdicated His lofty position so that I could be TRANSFORMED...unidentifiable from the person I'd been. Enveloped in His unfathomable Love, Light, and Longing for relationship with me.

Me.

Well, the NEW me.

I am beyond thankful and grateful that although I am far from perfect, YET...I can put down my mending thread and stop trying to patch up the places I've been feverishly, ever so anxiously, trying to cover up, hide from the world and even myself.

Instead, I can rest in the confidence that He said it was done, "Finished" is actually the word He used. And I'm pretty sure that if He said it, it's true!